A Trip That Begins in Fear & Ends in Relief, Awe, and Inspiration

Normally I use my blog to post my photos and a little bit of text so I can convert everything to lovely travel books (thanks blurb.com).  This time I’m using it in lieu of a journal, something I’ve never been able to keep.  All that self-focus really bores me.  This post, as usual will avoid names to maintain privacy and protect those with security clearances who really hate being on social media.  So much has happened this trip that I need a way to reflect on it all and this seems like a viable option.

Thursday, 7/23, I received a call from my son letting me know he was in the Critical Care Unit of Seton Hospital in Austin suffering from kidney failure but they were filling him with fluids and he’d be going home the next day.  He assured me he would keep me informed and I decided I wouldn’t be too hasty about hopping on a plane and hightailing it down there, although that was what every fiber of my being wanted to do.  When he called back the next day he said he was still in serious shape and could I come down.  Well, I’m a mom, of course I can come down just needed a flight and place to stay.  Also, having to focus on getting ready made it easier to deal with the fear I was feeling.

I’m fortunate to have wonderful and generous friends who have a gorgeous lake house outside Austin.  Even though they flee the heat of the Texas summer every year for a 4 month RV vacation in northern climes, they always make their home available to me along with one of their SUV’s that gets left behind.  I just let them know, they contact the next door neighbor, and voila, the keys are left where I can find them.

The first flight I could get on was early Sunday morning.  First a puddle jumper from Dulles to Charlotte, NC, on a tiny plane - one so small carry-ons had to be checked at the gate, to be retrieved on the tarmac when we climbed down the steep stairs after landing.  I was surrounded by a large group of giddy Christians from Houston who had just completed 22 hours flying back from Africa where they had been on a hospital mission project.  They were sleep deprived, loud, and excited to be almost home.  I was next to a nice young man who showed me ALL of his photos of the trip (plane was so small that only 2 seats per side of the aisle), including some rather gruesome shots of people with horrible injuries.  I hadn’t been “yes mam’ ” ed so much since I taught high school in Texas.  He was excited to be starting EMS training in the fall, and I’m sure he’ll be terrific.  He had a generous and caring nature.

I was actually met at the Austin airport by my son.  He had been released from the hospital once his electrolytes, etc. were sort of back in balance.  His sugar count was still sky high and he looked awful.  We were going to focus on getting him medical care and sorting out his personal finances during my stay.

More about him later.  While in Austin I had time to reach out to friends and see how they were doing.

The first person I called has been a friend since we both worked at the same law firm in the ’80's.  She hit me with shocking news:  in March 2014 she had fallen at work and broken her neck.  She never lost consciousness so she could describe in detail how they managed to get her out of a tight spot and lift her onto the gurney.  Seems Austin EMS hire very short people to get under barriers and assist moving the injured.  In her case, she first saw the top of his head as he was approaching her desk.  He got under her desk and pushed her toward the other EMS techs on the other side.  Because she wasn’t in any pain, she found it all rather strange and amusing.  It was a reminder of 2 characters in Tuna Christmas.  I’ll not elaborate but those familiar with the play will understand the reference.

Just prior to her injury she had lost all of her contacts because her laptop was hacked, therefore she couldn’t notify those of us not in her immediate circle of friends and family.  Only those in range for word-of-mouth found out.

Although she still requires 24/7 nursing care (thank you workers’ comp!) she can sit in a wheelchair and use both arms.  This is HUGE because she was originally paralyzed from the neck down.  Hard work and determination have gotten her this far and she is confident that she’ll be able to walk again some day using a walker.  I had no doubt after talking to her.

Her caregiver got her to the new Kerbey Lane on 183 for lunch.  Once at the table, she left us to have a private time together.

My friend blew me away when she said “All in all, it’s been a positive experience.”

Whoa!  How many people do you know who would say something like that given the past year she’s just had.  She praised all the acts of kindness she has received beginning with a niece coming in from CA and taking charge of remodeling her condo and getting it sold, her friend, who is disabled with rheumatoid arthritis, allowing her to move into her home once out of the hospital and rehab (a 6 month time period).  She has also loved her caregivers and has found their stories fascinating.  One is from Kenya, one from the projects of Houston, and one who is a British free spirit whose father was the architect in charge of the restoration of Buckingham Palace after a fire.  She had no idea how the last one ended up in Austin, but she says she’s learned so much from each.

Looking to the future, she sees a time when she will be able to return to work, but having to work from home.  She also wants to return to the pre-seminary training program offered by the Presbyterian denomination.  This led to a discussion of my experience of taking the same thing through the Episcopal church - it was a very intense 4 year program called Education for Ministry - and my working as a parish administrator for 2 different parishes in the DC area.  We had an interesting conversation about our divergent spiritual journeys and said she would look up the Ethical Society just to find out more about the group I have joined.

I just have not been able to stop thinking about her story and attitude.  Of course, I wonder if I would be able to face the future with the same grace and confidence.  I]I’m pretty sure there are a lot of people who would be full of anger, despair, and “why me?!”  My friend has such a generous spirit that her focus has remained on the others around her and she could find interest in learning her caregivers’ stories and never find fault with their service to her.

Next a called a friend from my old political days in Austin.  Well, she had fallen this past Father’s Day and was still recovering from a broken hip.  At this point I was wondering if I had any friends left standing.  I was able to visit her at her home a couple of times.  The last I begged for a TV fix because where I was staying didn’t have cable service since it had been disconnected while the owners were on their trip.  Wifi sort of worked but not well enough to stream anything or open any attachment for that matter.  Turns out we both addicted to the Sunday evening line up of PBS shows so a good time was had by both of us.

I received something of a surprise invitation to lunch from my soon-to-be ex-daughter-in-law.  While eager to see her I didn’t want the meeting to turn into a slam-athon against my son.  It didn’t.  We had plenty to discuss - her new job, how her terrific kids were doing, her extended family, etc. so it was a lovely time and I hope we will remain in contact after the divorce is final.  I can’t begin to express how much I admire her and I’m so grateful for the positive influence she did have on my son.  It may not be showing yet, but I’m positive it will.

It is interesting that I have very few memories of growing up in Sherman, TX, while my years at NTSU (now UNT) are vivid as if they happened yesterday.  Most of the memories I do have involve my immediate family, dance classes and church, but very little about school and friends.  I was able to spend a few hours with a high school chum that I only recently reconnected with (thank you Facebook).  A lot of the conversation was her saying “do you remember ….” and me saying “no, but go on.”  It was good to hear her stories as a reminder that, yep, I was there.

She’s in the middle of a 4th divorce - I didn’t know about the first  3 - and has had an interesting career as an actress and published poet.  She also is a substitute teacher in the Austin Public School System - a source of many interesting stories.  She stayed one evening for dinner and met my son and his 2 kids - my 6’ grandson who will be in the 7th grade this year, and, no he hasn’t had to repeat any grades, he’s just big, and my 5’10” granddaughter who is “searching for herself” - sad that she lost it in the first place but I understand the external forces that contributed.  I trust her innate intelligence and kindness to win this fight.

I took my son and grandson to see Mission Impossible.  My son said he’d never pay money that might end up supporting Scientology but he wouldn’t mind going on my nickel.  It was my first time to go to an Alamo Drafthouse for lunch and a movie.  Not sure why anyone wants to eat in the dark but the theater seemed almost full, interesting since it was a work day.  Once seated we started looking around and were surprised to find out that we were at a “babies welcomed” mantinee.  There were a few moms with babies, but what was amazing was the number of dads with babies strapped to their fronts.  The movie started and it was LOUD and long.  Not one baby made a sound and you could see them sleeping through the movie (or they were heavily drugged).

Even with Tom Cruz in the movie, all of us really enjoyed it and the company around us.  Lunch was just so-so.

I left Austin not able to see all of the friends I have there.  My son has a new doctor and we’re confident he is on the proper path to good health.  I was saddened to hear how defeated some of my political allies are.  The social pressure even in Austin to be a right wing follower has driven many former activists away from politics.  I hope next year’s presidential campaign will reenergize them.

I eagerly returned to northern VA and the cooler days and the comfort being with my supportive hubby and friends.  I will miss skinny-dipping in the backyard pool - no neighbors, why not, and any camera-carrying drones flying over head would be shot down in that neck of the woods in a heart beat.  The only company I had while in the pool was a rabbit who came and watched, seemingly fascinated that I chose to be in water, and a baby garter snake swimming around that I had to toss out.  I will also be thinking about my son and friends in Austin and the many stories of struggle, perseverance and grit.